Demisexual
It is so liberating to finally find a word that helps explain how I love and have sex! I am finally tapping into my Demisexuality and I am so ready for this new (well really old) journey! Let’s first discuss what Demisexuality is…
What is Demisexuality? A person who is Demisexual experiences sexual attraction only when they feel a true emotional bond with another person. For instance, they may not feel sexually attracted to a person they randomly see at a coffee shop, but if they were to start talking to that person and form an emotional connection, they might then become sexually attracted over time. — from verywellmind.com
So, you can be Demisexual and be gay, straight, bi, etc. Demisexuality focuses more on the sexual/emotional attraction to the person you feel safe/attracted to. Any sexuality can be Demisexual, with that being said, yes, I love penis! But one thing about being gay in my community, the pressure of being social, attractive and sexual is huge. In media, all you see is kinky, fetish like, sexualization situations, open relationships, etc. Now there is nothing wrong with self expression and sex, I love a good thong and sex moment, but for young adults that just came out, when we are trying to find our footing as young gay people, we can easily fall into societies pressure of what a “cool gay” should be. Let me simplify what I am trying to convey, you know in a heteronormative world, in a movie, where the nerdy girl is pressured to dye her hair or change her look in order to become a “popular girl”. Like in movies such as; “Clueless”, “Mean Girls” and “Grease”! This is how I felt the past 10 years of being out of the closet. I was always under the impression that in order for me to have a boyfriend and to be popular that I had to be into foursomes and open relationships and crazy kinks. Oh, how I was so wrong! This idea actually destroyed some parts of me two years ago, I was over-socializing, under eating, drinking too much and partaking in party drugs. I was putting my vulnerable heart on the line and trying to date around to be “open minded” but this whole time, I was ignoring who I truly am and what my true sexual wiring is! I just wanted a one on one with someone that I felt safe with and could share energy with. I didn’t want a meaningless hookup, I didn’t want someone that would forget my name or my being! That hurt me, I have a name, I have a soul, I am living, Hi, I am Antonio! I had peers in my community make me second guess myself, they would question my views on sex and love and would make me feel like I am not open minded. I thought that I was uptight because I could never have group sex or be in an open relationship. Well you know what, just how people are sex positive, people need to respect that Demisexual humans are a part of sex positivity. I respect if someone is free and Poly, but I also deserve the same respect! This past year, I took it upon myself to channel my inner Demisexuality, I channeled the love I always wanted and wanted to give to another loving human. I am done forcing myself to be in sexual experiences that I truly dont want. I know what works for me now and discovering this sexuality has answered so many confused questions I had when I was young and newly discovering my sexuality, I now know at 30 as a Gay, Demisexual man that it is ok to want safe energy, safe space, emotional sex ❤.
Recommended articles to read on Demisexuality:
Love,
Antonio ❤.
More of my work: antonioliranzo.com/links
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/antonioiliranzo/
