Taking The Back Seat
I never knew that I liked being the back seat passenger until… NOW!
When it comes to dating, I am usually the “aggressor”, I never had the problem of always being the first to text and make plans. This was also my way in friendships, but let’s focus on the aspect of dating. The unknown is scary, I believe that in life we are so driven to have answers at all time, the unknown can for sure be a trigger to anxiety (I know it is for me!). When it comes to dating, the unknown is a key player to emotions and the “Dating Game”. Some thought scenarios are; “Omg, is he going to text me back?”, “Ok, so I texted him yesterday, but I wan’t to reconfirm plans, but that would mean double texting, is that coming on too strong?”, “He looked at my social media, but won’t answer me, is he over me?”. Those are some examples of how the unknown and always being the driver can make someone stir crazy! When the timing is right, it is right!
Now, don’t get me wrong, we need someone in the relationship to decide on date plans or to text first. But, it truly should be a two way street, I was so use to being on a one way street that I never got to feel how it was to have interest and communication reciprocated! I am a passionate lover/dater, I put my all into someone that I like, I think it is fair to want that same level of energy back! My experience stems from dating in the gay scene, I think a lot of my LGBTQ+ family can relate, especially gay men. How many times do we think someone is attractive at a club but then both parties are nervous of rejection or the unknown, so neither of them will compliment or say hi to the other. I am telling you, there is on going anxiety and nervousness when it comes to dating, a lot of this stems from too many passengers in the equation! As stated before, it really should work both ways, but for me, it is time that I start becoming more of a passenger at times! I get so excited when I have a crush and I love going on dates and learning about someone! But, sometimes it really is frustrating when you feel like you are putting in all the effort and you are not receiving the amount of reciprocation you deserve! As tough as it is and as much as I fight my dating instincts, I have been training myself recently to give the person a day or two to respond, wait and see if the person will think of date ideas and not rush into things! It is ok to not always be the alpha in situations, it feels good to be in the back seat at times. To whoever my future partner is, know that, I will put in so much effort and energy into us, but sometimes I will want to be in the back seat and watch you drive us to success and love ❤.
Love, Antonio
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